In the last post, I discussed our hunger problem. Sometimes, we allow our overwhelming hungers in life to cut short our trust in God. When we do, we live as impostors, trying to find who we are in anything and anyone other than Jesus. This post is a part two of sorts: How can we safeguard our identity in Christ? How can we give ourselves the best chance to actually be ourselves, as God designed us to be? It all comes down to one word. Well, two hyphenated words, actually:

Self-control.

I hate talking about self-control. Mostly because I don’t have very much of it. Just this past weekend, I hammered the better half of a bag of Doritos (don’t judge, you know you’ve done it, too). If there were Olympics for Dorito-eating, I’d medal. Recently, however, I made a significant change in my regular diet and it is taking everything I have to stick to it. Mostly because: no Doritos (except for cheat days).

AND THE WALLS FALL DOWN

Self-control is really difficult. It’s a massive thing to undertake. And, it’s underrated. Its worth is inestimable. How do I know? Because God talks about it that way:

“Like a city whose walls are broken through is a person who lacks self-control.” – Proverbs 25:28 NIV

This is a striking image. Back then, cities had massive walls built around them. A city without a wall was weak in strength and in reputation. City walls were both shields and status symbols. They protected a city against both invasion and a weak reputation.

Today, we are as vulnerable as a city without walls when we lack self-control. Why? Because we are at the mercy of our desires and hungers. Literally, anything we desire can become instant temptation for us. It can mutate from something we desire to something we over-desire and think we need. And we can go after it with zero control.

As I reflect on this in my own life, I think one of the biggest reasons I tend to lack self-control at times is because I fail to see myself as someone who needs to be reigned in. I don’t see myself as someone who needs to be limited. In fact, sometimes, it’s the opposite in our culture: We see ourselves as people who need to be liberated from the oppression of limits.

But, limits actually set us free. Let me explain. We’ve never had more at our fingertips than we do now. Think about it: your phone is instant access to information. There are Starbucks everywhere. We have Targets that are open literally all night. I don’t know if there has ever been more places to get…well, everything. Combine this with the fact that we’re constantly hungry for satisfaction in so many categories of life, and we have the makings of a perfect storm. We attempt to satisfy the hunger in these ways and only get more hungry. We become slaves.

When this happens, we are wide open for invasion. An alternate identity can make its way into our hearts and settle down. It’s as if we’ve said to sin: “Here’s a key to the apartment.” To insecurity we’ve said, “Go ahead, raid my fridge.” And to anxiety, we have declared, “Okay, sure, you can use my toothbrush.”

Suddenly, we’re not ourselves anymore. We’re not being our new self in Christ. We’re being our old selves in the flesh, racked with anxiety and weighed down by shame. And all because we lacked self-control.

HAVE A LINE

It takes humility to say, “I need to limit myself.” In order to say that, you have to be humble enough to admit that you’re not beyond addiction. You’re not beyond having the walls of your life overrun by every desire you have.

Self-control means we place uncomfortable limits on our lives. They’re going to look different in different seasons, but they must always be there. Participating in life without drawing any lines based on your weaknesses is foolish. You have to have a line. Let me share with you one of mine: I don’t watch comedies that are rated R. I don’t judge those who do, but purity is an ever-present struggle. In my experience, comedies are rated R for pretty much one reason: sexuality. Will I miss out on jokes? Yes. But it’s one area in which I must exercise self-control. So, in this category, the R for “restricted” rating means I restrict myself from it. This isn’t about legalism. It’s about freedom.

Self-control that’s helpful will always seem unnecessary and be inconvenient. But it’s worth it because true freedom isn’t the ability to do whatever we want, whenever we want. True freedom is being who we truly are in Christ. But if you’re anything like me, your biggest problem isn’t that you don’t want to be self-controlled. It’s that you don’t know how to remain self-controlled. Galatians 5:23 identifies self-control as one of the fruit of the Spirit. So, what’s behind the fruit? God ultimately transforms, but what is my part of helping it grow? I think we find a helpful answer in what might be the grossest passage in the Bible.

FEAST ON ME

John 6. Here, Jesus has just finished serving a massive meal for 5,000 (probably more). His only ingredients? Five loaves of bread and two small fish. Take that, Gordon Ramsay. Then, Jesus says something mind-blowing:

“I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to me will never go hungry, and whoever believes in me will never be thirsty.” – John 6:35 NIV

To a culture of hungry people, unsure of who we are and who God is, Jesus says to us: “Eat me.” Don’t believe that interpretation of John 6:35? Too bad, because that’s how Jesus interprets His own words a few verses later:

“Jesus said to them, ‘Very truly I tell you, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink his blood, you have no life in you.’” – John 6:53 NIV

Told you. The grossest verse in the Bible. Now, Jesus is not advocating cannibalism. Trust me on that. Here’s what I think He’s saying: “The hunger and thirst in your physical body is nothing compared to what your heart is hungry for. So, feast on me. Every single day. Take my body, broken for you, and nourish yourself. Take my blood, poured out for your sin, and drink it in. Starve your desire for spiritual junk food: Put down the impurity; it doesn’t deliver. Cast aside the anxiety; it doesn’t even taste good. Put the power, prestige, and beauty back on the shelf; they’re a mirage. Feast on me. I’m the nutrient you need. It’s the only way you can actually be who I designed you to be.” The fruit grows with the right food.

YOU CAN’T PUT THAT IN THE TANK

Your body runs on a certain kind of fuel. I’m told by people much smarter than me that if you shove bad fuel in it long enough, you’ll shut it down. Your heart works the same way. If you feed it with lies and malnourish it by getting hooked on sex, power, money, junk food, or whatever else…it’ll shut down. You’ll find yourself trapped in anxiety and fear.

A lack of self-control is a fundamental misunderstanding of what your heart runs on. Every single time you choose to limit yourself and feast on Jesus, you remind your heart and mind of a very important truth: Man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God. You run on Jesus, my friend. When you feel unlovable, reach for the gospel. When you feel crushed, reach for His Word. When you want to over-do the pleasure, close your eyes and think of the joy He’ll bring when He returns.

If we get this, and I mean really get it, it can change everything. I’m not saying we can never enjoy things in life. In fact, I’m saying the opposite: Feasting on Jesus first and foremost is the only way to actually enjoy what we have without it having us. It’s the only way to live without being overrun by our desires, walking around like love-starved, pleasure-drunk zombies desperate for another fix. It’s the only way to be our true selves in Christ.

So ask yourself: Do I see myself as someone who needs to be reigned in? If not, why? If so, where is my wall weak right now? Where have I not done what is inconvenient? Where have I let my desires run unencumbered?

I hope this is challenging and helpful. Whatever your answers to those questions, know that Jesus is ready to meet you with His grace. He’s ready to help you rebuild your wall every time.

SL